I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
