break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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