and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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