Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
