so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
