She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
