I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
