i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm at about main and main street
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
