Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
