We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
