Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize