One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
