if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
