The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
