I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
