Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize