ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
