So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
