I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I love you. Go after that dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
