My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How naked do you want me to be?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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