i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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