I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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