I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
