I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
