Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
