Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
