Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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