i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
