i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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