we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
