I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
