we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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