Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drake has all the answers
The power of my boobs compel you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
