Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
