babies were throwing up all over the place
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize