It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
