My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
