How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
