Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
