the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
