I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
