I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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