I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
