are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize