Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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