Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
