even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
