Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
