I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
