I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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