You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize