Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
