I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
