READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i black out too much to be "responsible"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
