She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
