who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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