You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
