WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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