As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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