eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize