then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
