There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
