i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
