i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
