You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
