I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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