Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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