and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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