i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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