Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
