you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
